Tag Archives: whackos

One Little, Two Little, Three Little Whackos

It’s getting late. Do you know where your 2010 Census form is?

Stand up and be counted you plywood shack dwelling far right Undie Bomber types. You post your friggin’ life histories on MySpace. All your far out wing nut pals are shown on your Facebook page posing with their Mini-14s and camo socks. And you can really sit there and complain about the Census asking you personal questions that threaten your privacy?

Because of those perceived privacy issues, you refused to fill out your Census form, hmm? Well, now the government is going to have to use tax payer money to send the black helicopters loaded with jack-booted thug temp Census workers to your plywood door.

“Vee have vays to make you fill out zee form!”

In today’s St. Petersburg (Florida, not Russia) Times, there was an article called Even wackos need to stand and be counted by editorial scribbler Daniel Ruth. I was in tears laughing while reading it this morning. I even snorted coffee through my nose once or twice.

Ruth writes:

…some elements of the paranoid Planet Zircon 9 wing of the Republican Party who have expressed distrust toward the census — as if efforts by the federal government to count how many people live in the United States are something akin to Red Dawn II.

Ruth is famous for his dry wit and blatant sarcasm. He wrote in this same style for many years for the Tampa Tribune, a fish wrapping rag of no consequence these days in the Tampa Bay area. Ruth was let go from the Tribune along with much of the reporting and support staff. He found a new home relatively quickly with the St Petersburg Times.

And when the census asks if someone living in your residence sometimes lives someplace else, it is not referring to the speaking-in-tongues-to-himself Uncle Billy Bob, who also believes Barack Obama is the Antichrist, and who occasionally sleeps in a cave, eating small rodents while awaiting the coming Armageddon. We’ll just not count him, okay?

Need a good laugh, folks? Read the rest of Dan’s article at the St. Pete Times website. Oh, and read the comments there… always entertaining.

Gotta’ run… I hear a helicopter hovering in my backyard.