5 Things I Hate Most About Linux

The GNU/Linux computer operating system created through the sewing of miscellaneous Richard Stallman body parts around Linus Torvalds‘ heart is not perfect. Here’s a list of my 5 top pet peeves:

  • coming in at #5 is the fact that using the GNU/Linux operating system causes me great distress due to the guilt of not having paid $300+ to purchase this operating system in a very earth-unfriendly, made-in-China package from my local Bloat Buy retail software outlet.
  • #4 would, of course, be the pain caused by my empathetic tendencies toward those poor souls out there using other operating systems, and my terrible evangelistic need to convert them all. I’m becoming a damned Jehovah’s Witness of GNU/Linux… *Knock-Knock* “Hello, ma’am. I’d like to talk with you a bit today about the everlasting joy of Linux. Come to the light with me, won’t you? Yes, you can bring your cat, too.”
  • 3rd on the list is the fact that GNU/Linux does not follow the engineered obsolescence business plan that has kept free markets and manufacturing buzzing for the past 50 years. It is instead a steady, long-life item that will eventually put many folks out of work. Besides, the best distributions are given away for no cost at all. What’s up with this? This is NOT your granddad’s Capitalism, comrades.
  • my 2nd most peeving peeve is the gnawing certainty that the GNU/Linux was actually a technology that the C.I.A. leaked after discovering its usage in the computers on that crashed alien craft that’s kept in storage in Area 51. No current human intellect could have come up with something so efficient and useful. I think the aliens may have assimilated us without our knowledge or consent. Maybe that’s a good thing, upon further reflection.
  • and first/foremost on my list is the fact that GNU/Linux has increased my boredom exponentially over the last 5 years. I no longer have to run crap cleaners, antivirus apps, defraggers, malware hunters, cookie cullers, bloated/inefficient backup apps, etc. Sheeesh! I have all this time on my hands to do really useful computer stuff nowadays. So, what do I do? I choose to sit here and tap out masterpieces such as this one for your entertainment and enlightenment.

I HATE Linux! I love that little penguin, though.

Later…

~Eric

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Comments

  • leftystrat  On February 4, 2011 at 14:03

    And what do you do with all the TIME you don’t have to spend rebooting and fixing your OS…

  • comhack  On February 4, 2011 at 14:09

    That was great!!! Thanks for posting it.

    • V. T. Eric Layton  On February 4, 2011 at 15:14

      @ comhack –> Heh! Thanks. 🙂

      @ leftystrat –> Shhhh… don’t tell anyone, but I’m a closet MS Windows troubleshooter. I have an installation of XP on my desktop and a Win 7 on my laptop just so I won’t get too bored, you know. 😉

  • Derek  On February 4, 2011 at 16:34

    Delightful read. Very clever and witty! hehe 😀

    • V. T. Eric Layton  On February 5, 2011 at 11:44

      @ Derek… Thank you! And thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      @ Rich Hunn… Ah! I hadn’t thought of that. Now I don’t feel so guilty anymore. ; – ) Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Rich.

      @ Megatotoro… HAHA! Five alien thumbs up? EXCELLENT! : – )

      @ vector… Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  • Rich Hunn  On February 4, 2011 at 17:03

    What is this free business?? Linux is more expensive
    than Windows because Guilt point #0 makes me send
    donations to my worthwhile distribution fabricator.

  • Megatotoro  On February 4, 2011 at 17:25

    Thanks a lot for this article! It made me laugh and reflect upon my own experience, which resembles yours greatly. Let’s hate GNU/Linux for what it has done to us! My five alien thumbs up!

  • vector  On February 5, 2011 at 04:54

    interesting article to read. thanks

  • Mick Russom  On February 5, 2011 at 15:19

    I have ancient Linux walnut creek media, I’ve used Linux for a long time. I used 1.3 series, ancient redhats, etc.

    Its getting worse. The kernel is bloated and changes for the sake of changing, it takes an upstream to stabilize things and there is a ton of distros which makes finding a good SYSTEM, not kernel and gnu toolchain, SYSTEM, hard.

    Solaris is dead – and RHEL costs money, and CentOS is being run by a junta/cabal of secretive people.

    Ubuntu – even LTS is stable, debian is arcane, SuSE is junk, Xen and KVM split the virtualization efforts, KVM is half baked from the management perspective and L2 networks perspective.

    Its a bloody mess, and the least worst of it is RHEL/CENTOS.

    And even a nice maintained distro like RHEL/CENTOS has trouble with newer software because people change stuff and depend on bleeding edge junk.

    I like my OS X 10.6 laptop more and more.

  • BambisMusings  On February 5, 2011 at 15:56

    ROFL!!! I love that Eric!!! Great stuff!

    Shhhh! I have a Mac, Windows/Linux laptop, Virtualbox WinXP Pro, a Linux Desktop, and I also troubleshoot Windows (and Mac) problems… so I know what you mean! LOL!

    Loads of fun!

    Come back to Linux for sanity and fun …

  • Matt Hartley  On February 6, 2011 at 00:47

    Absolutely epic read. Loved it. 🙂

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